Accountability

A few years ago, I was asked “what is the most important quality you look for in a teammate, whether at work or otherwise (i.e., sports)?”

My answer: accountability.

Essentially, the ability to reflect on the agency or team’s performance, and yourself as a part of that system – and take ownership over areas you can improve. 

If I was asked today “what is the quality missing the most in 21^st century American society?”

My answer: accountability.

It seems that many humans have lost the ability to assume responsibility for where they are in life – and instead of looking in the mirror, reflecting and generating a plan to succeed – many have transformed themselves into victims of other people, systems, or entities.  Then, instead of looking in the mirror – they point the finger – and the modern-day two-party system, particularly the Democrats, fuel the narrative that certain groups are victims, and should view themselves as such.  And that magically, this other group, is the victimizer, but they don’t know it.  

It’s not only a mistruth – it’s an intentional effort to keep people angry and scared, which has resulted in a chaotic country, filled with loud voices and no reasonable plan to improve as a nation.

For example, social media is being blamed for being a danger to children.  Ok, maybe social media isn’t constructive for children – I can agree with that.  But, my next question is “where are the parents?”  I have two children, and there is no way in hell they are signing up for social media – they can make that choice when they are full-grown adults, with a full-grown job. 

So, we have a group of parents who are mad at social media companies for “damaging their children” but blaming the object does not address the root cause.  In reality, the real issue is the parent who helped their child register, clicked the confirmation email – and paid the smart phone bill for their 11-year-old so they can play on TikTok for 5-hours per day.  It’s like crashing a car because you weren’t paying attention – then blaming the car for the accident. 

Or, you have groups of children and young adults being told they are victims of these systems that exist in America – and due to no fault of their own, that is why life is so tough.  In fact, they are told, this other group of people intentionally tries to hold them down.  Well, that is simply false – and another example of younger, entitled generations using systems and people as scapegoats for, often times, the lack of direction and motivation within their own universe.  It is simply easier to blame something else – remove accountability and be around others that feel the same way.  Misery loves company. 

I was born in the early 80’s.  I never lived during the time of slavery or segregation – and was born decades after the landmark Civil Rights Act of 1964, followed a year later by the Voting Rights Act.  I, along with most other students in America, learned about the horrors of slavery and segregation.  We learned about the underground railroad – and the battles fought to obtain equal rights for all.  We learned about the Holocaust, and the darker moments that reside in the history of this nation, and the world at-large.  We were taught that all people are created equally – and that made so much sense to me – and seemingly to others, regardless of color, that I went to school with.  Is everyone perfect?  No.  Is there racism and hate that still exists?  Yes.  Is it embedded in our systems? In my opinion, no – unless someone can point out where one law applies to another group differently.  It does not exist.

For groups to come out today – and generalize other groups in the name of “equality” is just wrong.  To ignore the progress this country has made – and act as if systems actively work against certain people, and benefit others, is just wrong.  Go ask the household in rural America how privileged they feel after working their hands to the bone in a coal-mine – or manufacturing plant.

The fact is, people have much more in common than they realize – and these discussions, whether around social media or race relations, has everyone arguing their point – but not coming together around actual solutions.  We are not acting as individuals anymore who think for ourselves – we are latching on to groups, and adopting a group thought process.  White or people of color – vaccinated or unvaccinated – Trump supporter or progressive.  We are now assigned to groups – and depending on what group we are assigned, will determine your levels of freedom, depending on where you live.

It is insanity – and in my four decades on this earth – I have never experienced the sort of discourse we are experiencing now, and how discussions (really, yelling matches) during the last two-years have devolved into hollering matches between these various groups – and no one will take accountability, and be the damn adult in the room.

I tell my daughters “this isn’t the way it has to be.”  Adults are currently modeling the worst types of behaviors for our youth – transforming them into miniature activists, asking them to yell about things they don’t comprehend – and they just watch us wondering “is this normal?”

Our younger generations need us to be accountable for the plethora of unaddressed issues in this country – and we have to stop throwing them into the middle of the culture wars. 

Until we can look in the mirror and self-reflect – which I don’t see happening anytime soon – we will go deeper into this rabbit hole – and when we get there, the rabbit will ask “is this the best you can do?”

A person who is accountable will respond: “absolutely not.”